CTRL

It's weird to think that this world will go on after I die. There'll be a world without me as a part of it - I mean there was one for billions of years but for me it began 27 years ago and it'll end for me when I eventually die.

I don’t care that I didn’t exist for so long but I don’t like knowing I won’t be a part of the future. Why does the future seem different to the past though? I feel like I’ll be missing out on everything that proceeds my death – as though I could have continued but wasn't allowed!

Because of the time that I have existed, the ripples from my splash will continue to spread out; like if I have children then they could have children and so on. My DNA will probably perpetuate so in a way I will carry on.

Is that where art comes in? In making these visual tokens does the part of you that I would call the consciousness continue? 

In effect doesn't creating art ensure that the part of you that isn't passed on as DNA continues?

A test of faith

I used to think the fact that I am here as a living thinking being was proof of a divine creator. How could I (or anything) exist otherwise? Why is there something rather than nothing?

I am told that God purposely hides away from us so that we must believe without seeing. If that’s the case, and he wants to test our faith, then surely the fact that there IS something rather than nothing is the total opposite of hiding away.

You could argue that science’s advancements such as the theory of a Universe from nothing could have been designed by God as a test of faith; tempting people to be atheist on the grounds that there was no apparent need for a creator.

But why hide yourself by creating a universe that looks as though it could come into existence entirely naturally and in doing so remove yourself from the equation? 

Why I’m thankful for Hitler

Do you ever wonder why you weren’t born into a different body at a different time?

Children are natural dualists: they feel there is a body and a mind and that the two are separate, which is a difficult habit to break. I have now come to realise that we are our bodies and that there isn’t a ‘spirit’ that transcends our physical form.

I like this idea because it makes sense to me. It is impossible that I could be someone else because I am a bunch organic material pieced together by genes. I am unique because the sex cells that became me contained unique combinations of instructions and the environment I matured in whilst gestating, and then the environment I grew up in once born were and are both unique too.

The point is that without every tiny bit of history that led up to me being conceived (and that led my nurturing), I would not be here as I am now. And this is where Hitler comes into it; without him (and all other people throughout history for that matter) I would not exist and I find that amazing.