Sexual and violent thought infection

I hear violent and/or sexual voices about women. Sometimes it’s that woman's voice - saying inappropriate things that I don't want to hear. 

I brush them aside but they are persistent and they conjure up images in my mind like a virus causing you to get sick. Like if someone says "pink elephants" and you automatically picture a pink elephant.

I hear my voice too, but it doesn’t seem to be coming from me – as though it’s being injected by someone else.

Delusional

When I was younger I was delusional and believed that everything – the whole world and everyone in it – was just a creation of my mind. Hence I felt unable to trust people; including my friends and family.

I believed myself to be in some kind of coma and making up this world as one would a dream. I knew that there were scientists watching me, and they were doing so via a TV that was hooked up to my brain, providing them with a live feed of the world I was creating inside my head.

The thing was, although they could see my world, they were not privy to what I was thinking to myself. I therefore spent every hour of every day trying to act in such a way that they wouldn’t be able to tell that I knew what they were up to.

I never knew why such a need for secrecy though..

Psychic Ability

I met a medium the other day who was convinced that she had the ability to communicate with the dead. She said that she would sense a person when talking to someone – not see them but feel their shape.

It struck me that maybe what she’s sensing is unconscious and non-verbal signals from the person whom she’s with, and interpreting them as a supernatural ability.

Do we give off signals unconsciously - perhaps through our facial expressions or pheromone emissions - that can be picked up on by a naturally astute observer? 

Exposure therapy (my way)

They told me that all I needed to do was get there. Once I'd done that I would see that it wasn't so bad and I'd be ok; the anxiety and panic attacks would go.

But what if the thing causing me to react as such couldn't be beaten this way? 

What if being around other people is such a struggle because of the extreme paranoia that they are against you; a paranoia that, if denied by anyone, would only worsen the suspicion you feel?

That's the problem with learnt behaviour. For so long that was my whole world. I'd live every moment with that in my mind. Sometimes it's be at the front and sometimes more towards the back.

It's taken years of care but I've now learnt different behaviour and the paranoia has dwindled significantly. For me it wasn't about a big exposure but lots of little ones instead; building confidence day by day.

I still get uncomfortable but then I'm still learning. 

Who will survive?

The worlds population is growing out of control and consuming more and more energy which is destroying the planet. Unless much more is done we will eventually reach a point where nature will take its course and only the fittest (if any) will survive - who will they be? 

A physical example: People have been able to survive illnesses like thyroid problems because of medication. If societies collapse then no more medication will be made leaving the 'weak' to die slow painful deaths or avoid that fate by taking their own lives.

Cosmetic youth - Why we hate ageing

The following takes place subconsciously..

Men have the resources to sire hundreds of offspring but women invest so much in each of the few they can gestate and raise. They are therefore evolved to choose mates who can be faithful and support their young.

Men are attracted to youth because it's a good sign that their children will be healthier so is it any surprise that women somehow know this and so value looking young despite growing old?

From cosmetic surgery to anti ageing lotion and dying away those telltale grey hairs, could women be afraid of growing old simply because it potentially means losing the security of a father for their children (or potential children)? 

Furthermore could a man's interest in a younger model during the (in)famous midlife crisis be a perfectly natural evolutionary mechanism at work? 

Ignorance or irresponsibility

How dare our landlord allow us to live in a building with no damp proof course and then blame it on us when the walls grow mould due to rising damp?

Is he ignorant of how buildings work or does he understand them and yet chooses to carry on regardless?

It's hard to tell because he seems convinced that all we need to do is keep the windows open and get the air circulating.

One, it's now winter and two, we wouldn't need to do anything of the sort if he'd taken the responsibility to sort the building out in the first place!

I have a mental disability so my wife is trying to support me as well as deal with the building issues. It's now got to a point where neither the landlord nor the council seem to care and we're out of energy.