Man code

When as a small boy you like a girl why are you extra mean to her? Is it because you are so scared of being seen as soft by your mates that you are extra cruel in order to stop them from guessing that you like her; and by doing so adhere to the existing stereotype so that you fit in more?

Does this continue into adulthood in the form of man code?

With man code you can't appear soft; when your friend gets married you have to say "your life is over now mate", because that's code for "I'm absolutely thrilled for you!"

The existing male stereotype gives men an image of only being interested in one thing. But are they? Or is it all just a show to hide the fact that they really are soft?

It's understandable that people want to fit in and a big part of that is identifying with your gender. If being a man is being a certain way then it's only natural that males growing up would want to fit in - just like the boy who bullies the girl that he likes.

I'm not saying men are sitting down and thinking this - I imagine it would be a subconscious thing that a bloke wouldn't think twice about. He probably makes the mistake of believing that he, as a man, is that way full stop. Why would you question otherwise? 

Learning to be a human

“If you cut me do I not bleed?”

Why do you react emotionally? For me emotion is a bit of an alien concept. I feel more now than I did on the higher antipsychotic dose but there still seems to be a disconnection there.

For example, I recently saw a loved one crying and yet I felt nothing. In my head I knew that they were upset so my logical reaction was to console them because that’s what you do in those situations.

In reading this you’ll probably consider me a rather cold individual (maybe even a Vulcan?) who only cares because that is what ‘should’ be done. But hang on a second.

What if this emotional detachment could be a natural part of growing up that is generally experienced during childhood when a person isn’t so aware of their thoughts; but in my case (because of my condition) it is something I am coming to as an adult?

In other words am I more cognisant of the process of developing emotions because I am older than people generally are when they engage with them?

And could this ring true for other people who are in my situation?