Showing posts with label schizophrenic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schizophrenic. Show all posts

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Because everyone else does?

Do you hate people taking others from their loved ones?

Things like old age or unpreventable illness are one thing but when someone kills another person because it makes their life easier, is that not hateful?

The problem is we are doing it all the time when we waste money on things we don't need. I bought a coffee machine because I drink a lot of coffee to counteract the sedating side effect of my anti-psychotic medication; but couldn't I drink instant instead?

Like Tim Minchin enjoying his bottle of Chardonnay (because it is the equivalent of an immunisation for an African child) I am aware of what I am doing. I put that down to the necessity to be aware of everything for fear of a relapse creeping up on me.

I wonder if other people are aware or because everyone else does, do they just keep on ignoring the horrible reality until they eventually forget about it?

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Am I a Monster?

“Would you rather live as a monster or die as a good man?” – Shutter Island

I hear constant voices telling me to do bad things. They excel at distressing me by putting violent and sexual images in my head. But why are they so distressing and if they are ‘just thoughts’, then why can I not simply brush them aside?

They are crippling because I am basically unable to even try and comprehend a situation that is out of my comfort zone for fear of them occurring.

The question is am I worried that what the voices are saying is what I want to do, and if so does that mean that I’m a monster?


Could the way that I act now simply be a controlled, watered-down version of the real me, which is really lurking under the surface waiting to break through when backed into a corner – even if it's a psychological one?

Incase you wanted more information about hearing voices: